Tragedy so close to home

"A man opened fire in a crowded lecture hall at Northern Illinois University on Thursday, killing four people and wounding a number of others before killing himself, media reports and authorities said"


This is not any other piece of everyday news. It is about my school, my home for the last few years. The place that made me an independent confident person. I have attended lectures and taken exams in the very same Cole Hall were the shooting took place. Seeing picture after of picture of my school plastered across news sites brought sadness and grief. Hurrying to catch the huskie line bus to get to a class, rushing to get there on time in the cold all bundeled up, is it supposed to cross ones mind that you might get shot. My thoughts are with the families of the kids who are dead today for no reason at all, just a random act of an unreasonable sick mind. My heart goes out to their roommates and friends who will never see them again. And my prayers to all who have to go back to school eventually, what would that first class be like, will they be able to pay attention or would they be constantly looking over their shoulder. What is it like to be in constant fear.

My first thought when I read about it was about my friends, my proteges. I met them at different stages in school. Some through the Peer mentor program, some randomly. I took great pride in being their mentor. Helping them know my school better, encouraging and motivating them to do good right from the beginning. Thank you God for keeping them all safe.

Inspite of this terrible tragedy I hope the students do not get consumed by fear. Fear is the most negative of emotions. We are living in times when fear seems to be the foremost of emotions. May this tragedy bring them closer to each other, bring kindness into their hearts and love for life with death being so unpredictable.

Here is a one of my favorite songs

Why does no one trust anyone anymore?!

I am mad, sad and extremely frustrated at my family. They have become so distrustful, especially where my brother is concerned. They treat him as if he is a fragile flower whom they should protect from all harm real and imagined.

One of my collegues is from Bangladesh. His relatives are visiting my home town to write a exam and he requested if my brother can be of some assistance. Especially because they do not know hindi and it will be kind of difficult to get around. I did not think anything about helping him and confidently said that ofcourse my family will be more than happy to help out.

Well that cannot happen. My parents think it is not a good idea at all. Because they are from bangladesh, three young people are visiting and my brother is a young guy. You dont see the connection do you. I dint either until they explained. With the recent bomb blasts in my city and bangladeshi nationals being involved and we being muslims, and my brother being a young muslim guy all things can go wrong. And even if it doesnt owing to mere coincidence my brother can be in trouble. Whenever any thing remotely related to terrorist activity happens in my city young muslim guys are rounded uo even if they were just passing by.

We are supposed to be living in a secular, independent country. One of the most admirable things of Indian Culture is "Atthithi Devo Bhava", and yes let me clarify being a muslim does not make a indian muslim less of a Indian or less of a muslim.

I grew up in a predominantly non-muslim neighbourhood, went to school in a catholic convent school which was in a predominantly muslim area and so the majority of the students were muslims. Not once during my growing up years did it ever occur to me that my relegion had anything to do anything beyond the threshold of my home.

It is so very painful to think that one is subjected to so much suspicion based just upon religion which is such a personal and private matter. Why dont people understand that the problems in the middle east which spill over everywhere in the world are just that "the problem in the middle east". It is to do with reigon and not religion.

And I am very very upset with my family at being suspicious in return. Lets turn the tables, I am single muslim female living and working on my own in the US. I wear the head scarf and no one can have any doubts about my religion. What if I people get suspicious in the same manner, where would I live if people do not rent me an apartment based on my religion. What would I do if people do not hire me based on my religion. How would my family react then. Would they totally understand, would they be OK with that because they would have done the same right ?!