Mini Me

Rating, Grading and all that good stuff

I like numbers. I like to quantify everything. I like to plan in terms of numbers. Even my thoughts are bullet points with numbers. One other thing I like to do with numbers is rate.

In this spirit how does one rate a person. How do I rate me. Besides what are the standards. If I am the standard maker most things around me would be sub par. Most people would be sub par. The same standards applied to me would make me subpar.

Then can the standards be rigged. Can I cheat or should I consider myself subpar. For example I consider the following qualities desirable or likable in my opinion:

1. Intelligence
2. Being articulate
3. Goal oriented
4. Charm
5. Cannot be stereotyped
6. Fit
7. Authoritative
8. Ambitious
9. Free of all complexes
10. Humorous

I have only 5 of these 10 qualities. Would this make me subpar in my own opinion or am I compromising when it comes to me.

Anti-Partner

Yesterday , Sunday was my second week of Salsa classes. It was fun. But it also made me extremely conscious of the fact that I am single, not part of couple. I want to learn the dance form but I think it is just going to get worse. Because we are made to practice in class with a partner. So I end up pairing with a total stranger and have to wait my turn because there always seem to be more single women then men. I wonder why??

But I am not going to let it stop me. There are three more classes to go. I am going to go to every single one of them and learn what I set out learn. If every single time I feel out of place or awkward, too bad. I have to learn and get used to this lifestyle sometime. Let this be the time.

Year that was, Year that will be

New things done this year past:
1. Started investing
2. Took belly dancing lessons
3. Joined WW (not doing too good with it)
4. Started volunteering
5. Started donating regularly
6. Won my first Karate trophy
7. Entry of an extremely irritating person, to be dealt with every single work day :-(

Things to do this year:
1. Earn my S Cert.
2. Learn Latin dance (probably Salsa)
3. Make a success of WW
4. Join Red Cross volunteers
5. Make a sizable donation to BMission
6. Earn my green belt
7. Learn to deal with and not be affected by the above mentioned irritating person :-)

Neat, no?

Flaws Galore

Everyone at some point in their life have slipped down a step or a patch of ice. That moment of time when you want to control, you know how to control, it just doesn't happen.

The past few months I have been feeling that way on several occasions. It is not like I am helpless but it is as if I choose to be helpless. You don't need enemies outside yourself if you yourself are your worst enemy. The list of things I dislike in myself just keeps growing and hence this rant. These are things I cannot tell anyone because no one is close enough. Its is just me and then there is me and so here I go.

Things I don't like about me:

1. Procrastination (simple plain old laziness)
2. Lack of Will power
3. Envy
4. Needing to be in control
5. Depression
6. Never following through with things I set out to do
7. Competitiveness without competence
8. Seeking acknowledgement and praise
9. Unhappiness

I can just go on. It is in such times that I miss Sid. If he were around maybe he would talk me into getting back on track, I liked that sense of accountability.

Now how do I deal with this, how can a patient deal with a disease when he/she is suffering from it.

I Miss U!!!

I miss you both R and Sid. You will always have a special place in my heart. I am grateful for all things that were and I still am not over the things that arent.

I know I should call R, my best friend. But my heart always prays and wishes the best for her. She is a wonderful friend and will be a wonderful mom.

I know I should not call Sid and I wont. But my heart always will mourn what could have been and isnt.

Does not feel right!!!

___________________________________________________________________________________
Gus crowned world's ugliest dog
By AP

Gus has three legs, one eye and no hair, except for a white tuft on the top of his head. But he's top dog.

The pedigree Chinese crested won the World's Ugliest Dog contest at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in Northern California.

His owner, Jeanenne Teed, brought Gus all the way from Florida, to compete for the dubious distinction

After the excitement of the moment, Teed characterised her dog's reaction: "Well, I think right now he's ready for a nap."

The Chinese crested breed is a popular choice in this annual contest. Last year's champ, Elwood, was a Chinese crested and Chihuahua mix.

Gus's owner won $500 and will be flown to New York to appear on "CBS This Morning." The event will be aired on the Animal Planet network in October.___________________________________________________________________________________

This piece of news just seems to be in poor taste. The world's ugliest dog is actually suffering from skin cancer, has lost a leg and is in its last stretch of life. This as told by the dogs owner on national TV. According to them it was their goal to have the dog live until this contest. As if it was all their choice. According to them the dog was so exhausted during the contest that it just stood up for a few mins for the judges and then dozed off.

Why is their no outrage at this. Why is the $500 prize so celebrated and celebrated on national TV. Would the ASPCA only care if the animal has beautiful fur and good to look at. Has this not disturbed anyone else.

What if it was the world's ugliest person contest and someone with Skin cancer is the winner? Would we still be so indifferent?

In my neck of the woods.....

This blog is just about that.. things the way they are in my neck of the woods.

It was my birthday last Sunday, June 1st. Probably one of my best birthdays ever. Definitely the best birthday in recent past. No I did not have a celebration, because I dont believe in celebrating things we dint really have a say. No I did not have a flood of calls or flowers or gifts.

Still it was the best because it was a gift to myself. I planned to spend a peaceful day doing things I love. Being at peace with myself. The whole day not once did I think about past nor did I think about the future. I did not look back and regret nor look forward and hope. It was very liberating. I did not make resolutions. So what did I do?

1. On Saturday(the day before by Bday), I cleaned my home. Every nook and corner. At the end of it all it was smelling of flowers.
2. I bought myself flowers from the old lady at the farmers market. Also bought a lot for fresh vegetables.
3. Got me a cake, a small chocolate fudge cake.
4. Made myself a beautiful breakfast of pancakes, orange juice and eggs with veggies.
5. Washed my car, waxed it. My baby is shiny like a new penny.
6. Started two new memberships. I will talk about them when I get what I want out of them.
7. Ofcourse my parents called and wished. My dad said I was a sunday baby and this birthday falls on a sunday.
8. Finished a Elizabeth Lowell Novel
9. Watched the Sun set from my window overlooking the river
10. Read all the wishes left on my facebook and myspace by friends

That was my birthday, and I hope just be content the rest of the year whether or not things work out for me.

Apart from the birthday, Work is great. Enjoying it and it is nice to see people whom I work with appreciate it. People I work for appreciate it to and hand me oppurtubities to grow.

My company sponsered trip to Chicago over the memorial day weekend was a nice break. It was nice to meet my friends and enjoy their company. It gave me a sense of accomplishment and confidence. It was nice to see people have faith in my and expecting bigger things from me. And I AM READY!!! BRING IT ON!!!!!