Homeless Still - My Blog Is it Private?

Two weeks now. Still homeless. Still haven't found anyplace good enough. M would be my last resort. Maybe the only one. I did till her I cannot afford S D. She was fine. She justs starts talking and never stops. Her stuff is in the room ..... Is it OK with me. Her stuff is in the closet .... Is it OK. My God why am I paying the rent. I don't know if all this will workout. Then I think it is after all a matter of couple of months. Should I bother myself so much. Why can I never figure out clear cut answers.

I did not work on my thesis today. Somehow couldn't. I hope I come early tomorrow and not leave until I finish. Cannot delay anymore. Dr M has a very bad tendency of finding more stuff for me to do. I hope he sets a date and get done with it. I should run all the programs tomorrow. I work better under pressure. When Dr M was after me for the paper I could think nothing but my thesis. Now that he has not given me any deadlines I am slacking. I am sure Sid wont be happy. Well yes Sid wont be happy.

And how will he know about this. Thanks to me. Now I know of three ppl who read my Blog. P , A and now Sid. P is like my sister I want her to know the things happening in my Life. She knows all about me. Every fear, every insecurity, everything. Letting A know was totally out of my control. I could do nothing about it. But Sid, well totally different story. I don't know.

Will I able to write my mind, should I even mind. Should I be embarrassed or just express my feelings and not care. Does anyone care what I think of them. I don't think so. And if I am making myself vulnerable so be it. Anyways nothing cannot touch me anymore. I am not letting anybody get any closer. Somethings are best admired from a distance. A candle might brighten up the darkest of thoughts, but hold it close to your heart it will burn u. You wont have anyone to blame but urself. I wont let that happen. Enough of letting ppl invade my territory.

I should start now, a long walk back home. And no I am not calling anyone as I first thought. Old habits are best left alone. It is me time from now on. Me and only me. Everyone else "No entry"

Love thy self for you cannot find a more reliable companion