Oh Well!

Moving was a pain. Felt absolutely homeless for a few hours. God Bless H, have a place to say. But the tragedy is my thesis. While working on my paper, some inconsistencies were discovered. Translation, will have to redo my results chapter. A real pain and I am afraid all my assumptions will come out and I will be in trouble. I have asked Dr.M for the OPT letter. Gave him a sample letter yesterday. I hope he gives it to me soon. I will be at peace after I successfully apply. Another decision I have made. I dont want to live here. I understood the value of my family. And they are by me thru everything. I would like to go back. I don't think I can live here for long. The loneliness and lack of security is driving me crazy. My parents are the only people whom I can call and speak my heart out any time. There is no one else. It is easy for everyone else to abandon me.

Sid did. We used to speak everyday, share everything going on in our lives. But it did not matter to him when he stopped speaking. This shows how unimportant I was to him. And then the rest, friends & roommates, have their own lives, own significant others to be with.

I think I want to God and my parents. Only these three entities are consistent in my life. It is my turn now. I will start abandoning people, not that anyone cares. Another thing I also want to give up my sins, and sinful actions. I was never like this, but I am on a steady path towards a very sinful life. And it is a result of insecurity and attention seeking nature of mine. I am going to get rid of all such meaningless temptations. No good can come of it. I only feel guilty. Regularly praying helps. H's house is a nice environment. It keeps me on track. I should have lived with her.

And yes last 4 pounds last week. All the moving has had its effect.